Waiting for the Mental Health Squad




Look, I’m all for sharing opinions.  It goes like this: You tell me yours, and I tell you mine.  It even works vice versa.  Amazing.  What I’m against is having other’s opinions pushed on me.  I do not enjoy blank looks from people when I disagree with their opinion.  This is especially true for things like, oh let’s say, aesthetics.  Sure, art is for interpretation, but an individual’s unique tastes are based on a lifetime of different exposures.  So – tell me what you like and why you like it.  It helps expand my understanding and appreciation of art, or any other thing.  I don’t want to see the world through my own eyes for the sum of my life.  Just hold back the blank gaze and sagging jaw when I disagree.  Like – WOW – the rest of the world doesn’t think the same way I do?

I say this as I wait for the mental health squad to knock at my door, or knock it down, equipped with a straight jacket and one of those masks that Hannibal Lector wore.  Why, do you ask?  Well, usually I am pretty quiet during appointments with my Nurse Practitioner whilst we discuss medications and progress since my self induced mental collapse.  She asks questions.  I reply.  She pushes her head in the computer for five minutes to transcribe my response.  I stare at the gruesome hanging art while I wait.

Yesterday, she must have been feeling particularly chatty, and decided to go on about how lovely this summer has been, and how she just loves the birds.  I am half insomniac, and so I’m up at 2 or 3 AM.  She replied “Oh, it must just be lovely to see the sunrise and hear all the beautiful birds chirping – much better than the winter when everything seems so lonely.”  To which I replied “I like winter.  I don’t like birds.  When they start singing in the morning I want to slap them.”  It’s true.

My husband bowed his head laughing; I could see his shoulders shaking out of my periphery.  He knew this was out of character – and if I could see his face, it would read “you go girl!”  I COULD see her face on the other hand.  Thus enters the blank stare and slack jaw mentioned above.  I met her gawp for gawk.   I won.  It felt good.  She shook her head for clarity, and to draw up her limp jaw.  Turning her attention back to the computer, she typed for a while – a long while.

Here is the jam of mental health.  I voiced my opinion.  Nothing I said post comment was going to help my situation.  I was going to be evaluated as hostile, depressed, homicidal, anxious, schizophrenic, PDSD or bipolar.  So, on our way out, my husband and I burst into laughter – realizing only after that our hullabaloo was held a foot from her office window.  So – now I’m waiting for the mental health squad.  I’m contemplating a bunch of fake birds hanging by their feet from a string garlanded on my porch.  My husband and I have schemed to to muss my hair, smudge my make up, and adorn my coiffure with bird feathers for the next appointment.  What do you think?

3 thoughts on “Waiting for the Mental Health Squad

  1. I think I like your style. I don’t know about you, but I detest people who ask me dumb questions because they think they are superior to me. Example: I know you are intelligent, so why do you waste your time posting those things about Obama’s illegal status? Me: Oh, really? And you have seen proof that he was born in this country, being as he has kept all his records sealed? I usually come back with, “I think you are feeling guilty for having voted for him twice and you don’t want the truth revealed either.”

  2. I think that was a lovely way of capturing that moment when we realize somebody else is trying to put us in one of their boxes, or relate to us through one of their filters, or reshape us in a way that conforms with their version of reality- to keep things simple and level- all of which cannot help but feeling like the imposition of some sort of limit on who we are… as if an invisible hand were pinching us between the top of our heads and the bottom of our feet… so we rattle the cage a little bit… hold the line we have no desire to concede- the location of which, whether sane or not- maintains the freedom of a self we can feel bubbling around inside of us…

    • Really well put, and nice visuals in your reply! I don’t mind so much when a person tries to relate to us through one of their filters. I think thats a bit of human nature – as you said to keep things level. I truly do like to hear from people and gain different perspectives. It’s important to me, and a key part of learning humility. Thank God people can verbalize their knowledge, preferences, and wisdom. I suppose if we couldn’t, all knowledge would only be gained through text books. How boring! I do have a difficult time, like you said, when others try to make us let go of the line that holds to our belief system or preferences without taking a look at their own. Simply put – close minded people trying to force their opinion while judging the other person is hypocrisy!

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